Vertical Kick of Death

My swim coach keeps coming up with various ways to torture me.

Last week it was the sprint drill of doom at the end of practice. Actually, all of last week was pretty hard core.

Tonight, it was the vertical kick of death.

In the vertical kick of death, you "stand" upright in the water while kicking either a fly kick or a free kick for a set time period. You hold your hands out of the water next to your head so you can't cheat by using your arms to keep you from going under. Of course, this is in about 8 feet of water, so there isn't any way you're touching the bottom, which is kind of the point.

We did this 5 times for 40 seconds each and then went a minute on the 6th time.

The boys in my lane warned me it wasn't going to be good. And since the boys in my lane are approximately 6 years younger and 5 times faster than me, I had no reason to doubt them.

So imagine my surprise when we started the drill and I was staying curiously afloat with not a fatal amount of effort. I had my hips in line with my shoulders as I was supposed to. I had my hands out by my face.

What possibly could be the trick that I was employing? I looked to the boys, who were bobbing a little more than me.

And then I looked to the girls. On the whole, we seemed to be having an easier go at it.

And it just came out. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I exclaimed, "I think this is easier when you have boobs!"

Poor boys, apparently laughing during the vertical kick of death equals instant mouth in water.

Sputtering ensued.