Tuesday, April 23, 2013


When Luke was really young — days, weeks old — we began taking walks with him around our neighborhood in the evenings when it wasn’t too hot outside.

I remember looking around on one of those first walks and feeling overwhelmed.

It was so hard to imagine that he knew virtually nothing; he had experienced virtually nothing. The scents in the air, the colors, the noises, the air itself — all new.

It was overwhelming; the sheer weight of the world. All of the things he needed to learn.

A few months ago, Luke was very interested in all the vehicles we would see while driving. We would tell him what they were and what they did.

We came upon a money car — the armored vehicles that transport money from place to place. As Luke loved pointing out the big bank near our house, we were excited to tell him about the money car.

And there was that weight again. How do I explain to him why the money car has to be armored? Not knowing what armor is, he hasn’t asked, and I haven’t explained.

But there was that overwhelming feeling again. The weight of all the bad things in the world. Things that sooner or later we will have to try to explain for him.

How do you explain these things?

One day, I envision my much-older children asking me about 9/11. About Columbine. About Boston. About the times when their uncles were at war.

And it’s overwhelming. To become a voice for that experience — my experience, which is not like others’ experiences. Not like the experiences of people who saw it in person, people who lived through it, the person who sat next to me when we saw that news on TV or Facebook or from the receiving end of instant messages sent from Iraq and Afghanistan. There’s a weight, a responsibility in becoming the voice of that experience to someone who was not here.

I want to do it right.

And it’s overwhelming.  

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Almost a year!

Nathan is getting closer and closer to his birthday! He is doing well -- he is finally drinking some milk out of a cup. We actually finally had success when we put chocolate milk in there. So now we are weaning down to regular milk. He's still nursing, too. His sleep patterns aren't very predictable right now, although he slept through last night for the first time in a week or so.

At 11 months (to about 11.5 months), Nathan:
~Still has blue eyes (we think they might stay that way)
~Walks everywhere
~Climbs things
~Loves the dog's water and food bowls. (And loves the dog!)
~Dances and claps
~Signs "all done" and waves hi and bye
~Now wears shoes and walks all over the place outside
~Likes to steal my phone to chew on it (and runs away laughing if we try to go after him when he has something he isn't supposed to
~Likes opening the cabinets and wants to climb in the dishwasher
~Is ticklish, especially on his thighs.
~gets excited when his daddy comes home

He is fully into his 12 month clothes now. He's a little guy compared to where his big brother was. I think he'll weigh somewhere around 22 lbs. at his 12-month appointment.
He is very sweet. He loves kisses and music. He will settle into you and listen hard when you hum in his ear. He is very serious when he is first around people he doesn't know, but is very smiley when he knows you. He thinks Luke is funny and he is pretty resilient when Luke knocks him down.

I'm so glad we're getting to this point. I kind of wish babies were born at 1 year -- I find them so much more fun around now. :)

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He looks so much like my brother Stephen in this picture (above). Something about the look on his face, especially around his eyes. Stephen is his godfather. 

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His first haircut. He didn't cry, but he wasn't such a fan. :) 

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