Tales from the Bus: Locker Love

It's been somewhat of a reawakening. Maybe a rude reawakening.

First, all of those leggings-as-pants strolling around campus. The added traffic on the streets. The piles of beer cans in garbage throughout town.

The students are back.

Today I rode into campus and saw something on the bus I've never seen before. Well, "saw" might not be an appropriate word because I was trying my hardest not to look.

Let's put it this way -- when I was in high school one of the teachers used to refer to couples hanging out in the hallways as "Locker Love," as in, "Quit the Locker Love and get to class!"

Today on the bus, I was standing near the front, and there was LOCKER LOVE going on in the aisle right across from me. I could touch these people's feet with my feet.

And what do I mean by Locker Love? Well, think of the most simpering, please-tell-me-that's-not-your-real-voice, I'll put my arm around you to protect you from falling when the bus makes a quick stop, "I couldn't stand four days without you," and "I will not forget to meet you at 3:45" type of guy. Well, that last one isn't too bad, is it? Scratch that. Give him a little girlfriend in jean capris (thankfully, I don't think I would have lasted had she been wearing leggings).

And have them googly-eye each other while giving each other multiple kisses.

On the bus.

At 1:00 in the AFTERNOON.

I stared straight out the front window. I couldn't believe it. Why did I have to even hear that? Because, my friends, we all know that if someone is in love enough to exchange saliva on the city bus, they aren't caring so much about the sound of all that lip mashing. I won't say more. I might be sick.

But really? The afternoon! I was headed to lunch for goodness sake. Did I really need the googly-eyes? I mean, at night, after a rousing evening at the bars, maybe I can understand getting carried away on the bus. But I had a rousing good appetite for a BLT that could have been ruined! (But let's be honest, I ate the whole BLT, which also had Swiss cheese and avocados, a work of art.)

Go to class, people. Hold hands if you're feeling crazy. Perhaps I sound like I'm 90 years old, but let's not have any more suck face on the bus.

(Especially if you're wearing leggings-as-pants at the time. *shiver*)